NEW MEMBERS - POST HERE FIRST

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Re: NEW MEMBERS - POST HERE FIRST

Post by Jim78 on Wed Dec 26, 2018 3:51 pm

Thanks Landsend.

As you know I'm not a veteran of Vietnam but I am a PL veteran. I'm interested in others thoughts on PTSD and how to cope with it. Even Christmas dinner with the family is a struggle because I'm a changed man because of my experiences.

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Re: NEW MEMBERS - POST HERE FIRST

Post by Landsend on Wed Dec 26, 2018 3:57 pm

Jim,

Yes -- this place is not only for Nam PL veterans but veterans of all wars, past and present. I'd actually like to expand in that direction. Nam PL veterans are hard to come by. In the future I may actually rebrand the forum in that way and place it on my own server (if God graces me with some money -- ya listening God?). I created it as a space for Nam veterans purely because I was seeing loads pop up on the Other Forums, and thought folks would want to band together, but it seems loads of them have run off from the Nam for now. If we went in the PTSD/PL direction I'd be interested in hearing your ideas. We could have sub-categories for various conflicts.

Sorry to hear you having a hard time, I know how it is Jim, I've spent the last Christmas's in a similar state. This year I was not too bad, but mostly because I've come out to my family about all aspects of me, including my PTSD -- that seems to have helped me since I no longer feel I have to conform to folk's expectations. But once I get triggered I can be down and out for weeks on end in some deep blues. Doesn't matter if it's Christmas or whatever -- I couldn't go out and enjoy my daughter's first birthday trip to the zoo since I was under a bad episode at that time. Sucks, doesn't it?
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Re: NEW MEMBERS - POST HERE FIRST

Post by Jim78 on Wed Dec 26, 2018 4:10 pm

I know what you mean. There was a Nam veteran phase on the other forum. Lately it been a German WW2 soldier phase.

I'm the only one I've encountered from the Irish War Of Independence though. That may change however.

I know what you mean. Sometimes it can be a struggle to not let my trauma interfere with my relationship with my daughter. Its never affected her at all though. She's too young to understand and I wouldn't mention past lives to her anyway.

Yup, it sucks.

I also know what you mean about being anxious learning to drive.

I've commanded an army and fought the powerful yet nowadays I get anxious crossing bridges and I jump at sudden movements. Its very embarrassing to jump at a pidgeon you know.

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Re: NEW MEMBERS - POST HERE FIRST

Post by Landsend on Wed Dec 26, 2018 4:19 pm

That's trauma for you... hopefully we'll both reach a place where we can be more functional. I notice it comes in waves, can be 'functional' to a degree for a while, then WHAM BAM (not so Thankyou) MAM, am down and out, can barely leave the house. My driving instructor didn't realise I suffer with PTSD and decided to show me a video of a kid being knocked over in the middle of a lesson. Had to get very stern with him afterward and confess my PTSD to him since I'm determined to get my license. I bloody well need it, and want it, one of my goals is to get my license. He's said I need to tell the DVLA I have PTSD but have checked that out and actually only need to tell them if the Doc says I need to. I'm putting myself these small goals just to get by in life and take my focus off all the negatives.

Jumping at things is a sign you have an over reactive startle reflex, great for War Times, not so great for every day Civvie life. I get that way too when I'm in the thick of it. I also have over reactive adrenalin responses and can get angry at the drop of an hat if something triggers it.
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Re: NEW MEMBERS - POST HERE FIRST

Post by Jim78 on Wed Dec 26, 2018 4:31 pm

Yup. I hear you Landsend.

My trauma is deep. I literally live in fear of myself. I get intrusive thoughts constantly, especially when I'm around people and flashbacks, usually when I'm on my own. I guess its a state of hyper alertness. I watch my behaviour like I'm threading on eggshells. The only relief I have from it is to get drunk.

I guess its understandable. I went from a man fighting for love to a man who realised I'd left a trail of bodies throughout history. That's a HUGE leap to make. For me, just over four years ago, conflict was isolated to one life. Its terrifying now after my eyes have been opened to realise that I manifested it in all of my lives.

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Re: NEW MEMBERS - POST HERE FIRST

Post by Landsend on Wed Dec 26, 2018 4:38 pm

Jim,

If you want to start your own thread in the discussions section, you're free to do so -- it's private so anyone who is not approved by me will not be able to view it. Just getting it off your chest in a safe place can help, even if you delete it afterwards. No one is gonna judge you here.

I understand what you are saying with the drink. I've had a rocky relation throughout my existences w/ the drink. I fear the drink like the devil. Like any recovering alcoholic I avoid it like the plague if I can, and only very seldom drink for pleasure.

You cope with it how you can, and using the drink as a crutch is a symptom of how bad it is. I find it hard to manage my anger w/ drink so try not to touch it. My grandad was a raving drunk and an angry one at that. It runs in my family history too, so.... you can't escape your demons.
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